After Giving Birth

A month after I gave birth to my baby, I am still at the adjusting point. I can’t believe in myself that I manage to deliver a baby weighing 2.9 kilo that had been in my womb for 9 months. I am really glad that I make it. My friends said that I am strong and brave for giving birth.

I know that I should be happy that I already have my baby after waiting for 9 months, but I don’t understand myself, I feel so low, sad and hopeless. I always think if I can be a good mom to him. If I can provide the things that he needs and at the same time, support my parents. I have a lot of ideas in my mind that makes me worried. I usually cried whenever I watch my baby asleep. I am afraid for all the things that may possible happen to my baby. My parents always asked me why I am crying, or if I have a problem, just tell them and I always answer them I don’t have problem.  That was the time that my Aunt came in and told me that maybe I am having a Postpartum depression.

(My Papa and Gab)

(Postpartum depression occurs in women soon after giving birth. Symptoms include sadness and hopelessness. Counseling and antidepressants are treatment options.)

My parents were very supportive to me; they take care of me and my baby, for my faster recovery. They always gave me an advice to stay strong for my baby and told me the stories that they had been experience when I was a baby, for me to have an inspiration. Staying with my parents really helps me to recover from that depression.

When my maternity leave is over, it’s my time to go back to work so I can continue to support the needs of my baby and family. Being a working mom is so hard for me because, you need to do your job at the office and when you go home you also need to do your role as a mom. That is also the reason why I can’t give a breastfeed to my baby. Breast feeding is really important to your baby so that he can have the best milk and nutrition that you can give to him. In my case, I choose to feed him through feeding bottle using formula milk.  

(My Mama and Gab)

My mom take care my baby whenever I go to work, and when I go home he sleeps with me until the morning comes. I am so blessed that my parents are always there for me. Until today my mom taking care my baby from Monday to Friday and for the weekends my love and I are responsible for my baby.

I wish I am rich enough to provide the needs of my family and baby so that I don’t need to go to work and leave my baby to my mom. I envy those mother who can act as a fully house wife to their family, and give up their career just to personally take care the needs of their baby and love one’s. Every mom’ wants to take care their baby personally especially if it stills a new born baby. Feed him whenever he’s hungry, sing him a lullaby when he is sleepy and play with him. I know someday I can do that too, that’s why I want to work hard for that.

Despite of all the pain and depression that I've felt, I am thankful to have a baby that came from my womb. Not all woman have a chance to give birth and I can say I am very lucky for having a baby. I believe that all the babies are the gift from god that's why I love my baby and I will treasure him always. For me he is my lucky charm. 

So Hurray! for a mom like me! I know we can do it. Go for the best!